Stories from the YWCA Edmonton's 100 Years

From its beginnings meeting immigrant trains arriving at the bustling frontier city of Edmonton and finding safe lodging for women, the YWCA Edmonton has a rich history of service to women and families in Edmonton. The service to the communities evolved over the years as new challenges arose and the YWCA responded to the changing needs of Edmonton society. The story of the YWCA Edmonton in its first century is the story of people; women who were helped by YWCA when they arrived in the rough-hewn frontier city of Edmonton, families who received welcome aid during the grim days of the Great Depression, war brides and displaced persons arriving after the Second World War, women and families coping with family breakup and other stresses of modern life in recent decades. The YWCA Edmonton story is also the story of its workers; dedicated people who responded to the simple plea "I want help" with kind words and deeds which provided comfort for many.
The YWCA is sharing stories of its century of service with the community. We have started with a story from our recent service.

Moving Beyond Abuse: A Couple's Journey

When she made her first appointment at the YWCA Counselling Centre, Alicia’s life was in a place she never intended it to be. She had experienced years of emotional abuse from her husband Martin; when the abuse turned physical, the young mother left the home with her two children to live at first with family, and then in a place of their own. The police laid charges, and a restraining order was put in place.

"My emotions were on a roller coaster," she recalls. "There were so many changes, and so many things to think about. I had received advice that my only real option was to end the marriage, and I was moving toward that, but I didn’t know if it was ultimately what I wanted. I knew, though, that continuing to take abuse was not an option; I didn’t deserve it, and I knew it was having negative effects on our children. I suppose I came for counselling to find out if Martin and I could really make the changes we needed to make our relationship healthy, or if we were too embedded in our patterns."

After Alicia began coming to counselling, her husband enrolled in the Changing Ways group program for men who abuse. The YWCA co-facilitates a monthly meeting for the partners of the men in the group. Alicia attended the partners’ program, and, because she found the presence of other women affirming and comforting, she decided to take part in the YWCA’s Moving Beyond Abuse group support program.

It wasn’t always easy to listen to the other group participants describe their experiences, but Alicia found the experience very beneficial. "We looked into our family backgrounds, and patterns of behaviour; I got some real insights into why I had put up with the abuse for so long." In both individual counselling and group, she also learned how to be more assertive, asking for what she needed.

When working with the court system became overwhelming, Alicia met with the Counselling Centre Manager for an advocacy appointment to review possibilities, clarifying what she wanted, and who could help her. "I felt as if other people were trying to push their agendas on me. Nobody at the YWCA ever did that – they respected me and my viewpoints, and Susan spent a lot of time helping me understand my options." She also remembers that staff at the YW were very aware of the effects of abuse on the whole family, understanding her deep concern for her children, and what they had been through.

“Until I left Martin, I think I always felt like a powerless little girl.” Through counselling, Alicia realized that the experience of leaving him taught her that she could look after herself, and find resources to meet her needs. This, she says, has given her a sense of peace and empowerment she has not previously felt.

After completing their respective programs, Alicia and her husband decided to reconcile. She describes their renewed relationship as mutually respectful: "I’m now able to assert myself, and he’s open enough now to accept that I might have a differing opinion. He no longer finds it threatening, and listens to what I have to say. He takes responsibility for his own feelings and actions." The children are healing, too – "they’re calmer and happier. Instead of feeling like they have to behave a certain way to avoid upsets, they can just be kids."

Tell us your YWCA Story

If you have a story about how the YWCA Edmonton helped your family, or worked for the YWCA, we would love to hear from you. You can email your story to be shared with the Edmonton community through the YWCA website at information@ywcaofedmonton.org.